slim?

I have been called many things, but never slim. I remember when Banana Republic had a jeep crashing through the front display window, and sold Israel Army Surplus bags and other cool stuff. Back then then the GAP was cheesy; it had just gotten over "Fall In To The GAP" but still wasn't as cool as it is now. Back then the GAP sold baggy pants. I mean baggy. They had names like "loose fit" "extra size" and, of course, "baggy."
Nowadays, I tried to replace my 6 year-old chinos with a modern pair, and I got "Classic Straight Leg Mercer", "Flat Front Semi-Low Rise", and "Pleated Natural". All of these are shaped assuming I enjoy wrapping my ass in form-fitting plastic wrap, wear moon boots, and have no need to allow blood to actually circulate into my legs. And forget about acutally putting anything in the pockets.
The same designers who invented the show-your-bellybutton-low-rise and coupled it with the show-your-ass-tight-leg and successfully sold it to every female on the planet (disclaimer: I'm a big fan) had the brilliant idea to make GUY's pants the same way. Huge mistake. I guess it works here in Japan, where the skinny guys and the skinny girls are basically shaped the same, but it doesn't work for me.
Finally one of the sales dudes suggested I try the Slim Fit, because he claimed they were the baggiest in the seat and leg. And damnit he was right. Explain to me how in the 21st century Slim Fit chinos are the baggiest thing the GAP makes?