competing theories

"The ends justify the means."
"Two wrongs don't make a right."
Sometimes, getting results is the only thing that matters. Sometimes. it's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.
Sometimes, I wonder if I am truly fit to participate in society. People claim to appreciate honesty, but not when it's about something negative, and damn if I am totally incapable of delivering bad news in a good way. I can't sugar-coat, and I'm terrible at playing the politics game.
Some people are simply rock stars, and can therefore get away with trashing the hotel room and throwing a fit when the brown m&m's haven't been removed from the bowl, because they're musical geniuses who entertain millions.
Some people are such raving assholes that no matter how brilliant their ideas idea none of them will ever come to fruition because everyone is alienated and secretly if not openly hoping for failure.
People are petty, and in groups people are downright scary. No one wants to hear bad things, but any addict will tell you that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. So many people choose the path of least resistance; don't point out problems, compliment. And you'll be well on your way, seen as a positive-thinking team player.
In the mean time, the same problems come up (and get ignored) over and over again. The nail that sticks out gets hammered down, and society plugs along on its merry little way, over the edge into oblivion...or not. Somehow we've managed for a couple thousand years, so how bad can it be, really?
All I know is, I'll never be president, or a rock star, and I'm really good at being an asshole.
It's not complicated; I just treat others the way I treat myself. I don't dwell on my accomplishments, that's boring and there's no challenge in it. I push myself, I obsess over my mistakes and failures, I hate it when I do something wrong, and I dread doing it again when I should know better. I simply cannot understand how most people seem to live their lives just going through the motions. Do the job, take home the paycheck. No challenge, no drive to make things better, just plodding and ass-kissing. Every now and then a truly amazing person can get away with whatever, simply because he's undeniably The Man, but that's the exception not the rule.
So what to do: toe the party line, pucker up, stop caring so much, feel lucky to be even getting a regular paycheck. And worry about the stuff that really does matter: getting a new handle for my sword, learning the advanced forms, teaching my newest student, eating fabulous meals with Hiroko, ripping all my CDs into my iPod...

No comments: