wash hands by yourself!
Originally uploaded by renfield
man down! man down!
Little Mo is sick and not being much fun. Lots of crying and snot and coughing, not much sleeping. Poor P is suffering, too.
and it begins
I have now started my very own Peak Condition Project.
Bookmark this; it will be my life for the next three months.
Bookmark this; it will be my life for the next three months.
depressed?
Tonight I was asked "Don't you ever get depressed?" to which I responded, in all honesty, "Not really."
I get upset about things. Actually if it's not a big deal, I get over it quickly, but if it really pisses me off or bums me out, I have two options:
1) Affect some change to make things more like how I want them to be, or
2) Accept my inability to affect change and adapt to how things are
The reality is I end up doing #2 quite alot, something along the lines of bitching about something to someone who will listen, and then telling myself "OK I feel better now. Whatever. Move on." and that's the end of it.
So the follow up question was "Do you HAVE emotions?" and the answer is of course yes I do, but I don't find it particularly helpful to use them to respond to situations at work (or in life in general) that already have enough emotional content to fill a day-time tv melodrama.
So I generally react something like "Ooh, you sent me a blistering flame email. And that makes me kind of pissed off, cause you are wrong and don't understand the whole situation and are just pushing your agenda. But you are also some high-powered person who cares more about the impression you make on other people than on actually solving the issue at hand, and if insulting me helps you, well I am glad to help then. You are welcome. And an asshole. And the universe will come to balance at some point. Maybe one day you stub your toe. Or get fired. Or someone more powerful does the same thing to you and instead of accepting it you get into a big, public flame war and destroy your precious image as a cool and resourceful leader...anyway I can't do much about it, but I CAN delete your email and move on with my life. See, when I wake up tomorrow morning, my kids will be even cuter than before...and you will still be an asshole."
And that kinda makes me smile.
#1 situations tend to become tasks on my to-do list (at work -- contrary to popular belief I am not actually so anal as to have a personal to-do list.)
Then I generally think about a new task: "Impossible." Following shortly thereafter by "Pointless." and finally "Get done what is doable."
I kind of enjoy that first feeling of almost realizing something is totally beyond my ability to achieve, and then I immediately start chipping away at it: if I knew a little more about this, I could do something, and if I ask that person, I'd maybe learn enough to start, and if I read and researched that first, I'd know more specifically what to ask...and pretty soon an impossible task is now a series of things I can do...but just don't want to.
And then I come to the realization that I either a) HAVE to do it, because that's kind of why I get paid a salary (it is called "work" as opposed to "play"), and/or b) I will learn something and perhaps even accomplish something and maybe even (*gasp*) make things slightly better by getting something useful/necessary accomplished, so then I am sort of resigned/inspired to do it, get it done, and cross it off the task list.
Generally I find that when I skip my daily zen sitting, little stupid things affect me more, and when I am diligent about my daily sitting, stupid little things still affect me, but I realize more readily what they are, and can get beyond them more easily.
But that's just me -- your mileage may vary.
I get upset about things. Actually if it's not a big deal, I get over it quickly, but if it really pisses me off or bums me out, I have two options:
1) Affect some change to make things more like how I want them to be, or
2) Accept my inability to affect change and adapt to how things are
The reality is I end up doing #2 quite alot, something along the lines of bitching about something to someone who will listen, and then telling myself "OK I feel better now. Whatever. Move on." and that's the end of it.
So the follow up question was "Do you HAVE emotions?" and the answer is of course yes I do, but I don't find it particularly helpful to use them to respond to situations at work (or in life in general) that already have enough emotional content to fill a day-time tv melodrama.
So I generally react something like "Ooh, you sent me a blistering flame email. And that makes me kind of pissed off, cause you are wrong and don't understand the whole situation and are just pushing your agenda. But you are also some high-powered person who cares more about the impression you make on other people than on actually solving the issue at hand, and if insulting me helps you, well I am glad to help then. You are welcome. And an asshole. And the universe will come to balance at some point. Maybe one day you stub your toe. Or get fired. Or someone more powerful does the same thing to you and instead of accepting it you get into a big, public flame war and destroy your precious image as a cool and resourceful leader...anyway I can't do much about it, but I CAN delete your email and move on with my life. See, when I wake up tomorrow morning, my kids will be even cuter than before...and you will still be an asshole."
And that kinda makes me smile.
#1 situations tend to become tasks on my to-do list (at work -- contrary to popular belief I am not actually so anal as to have a personal to-do list.)
Then I generally think about a new task: "Impossible." Following shortly thereafter by "Pointless." and finally "Get done what is doable."
I kind of enjoy that first feeling of almost realizing something is totally beyond my ability to achieve, and then I immediately start chipping away at it: if I knew a little more about this, I could do something, and if I ask that person, I'd maybe learn enough to start, and if I read and researched that first, I'd know more specifically what to ask...and pretty soon an impossible task is now a series of things I can do...but just don't want to.
And then I come to the realization that I either a) HAVE to do it, because that's kind of why I get paid a salary (it is called "work" as opposed to "play"), and/or b) I will learn something and perhaps even accomplish something and maybe even (*gasp*) make things slightly better by getting something useful/necessary accomplished, so then I am sort of resigned/inspired to do it, get it done, and cross it off the task list.
Generally I find that when I skip my daily zen sitting, little stupid things affect me more, and when I am diligent about my daily sitting, stupid little things still affect me, but I realize more readily what they are, and can get beyond them more easily.
But that's just me -- your mileage may vary.
back to basics
Managed to get to the dojo again and ended up teaching the beginner's class.
Actually like teaching raw beginners every now and then; they take absolutely everything I say without questioning, and interpret all directions literally. Sometimes (actually in budo, most of the time) people really do need to just not question and do as I say. And then we they literally do exactly that, it's much easier for me to judge what they need to work on and make corrections. Also it is an excellent way for me to understand what they are actually hearing and seeing. I demonstrate and explain something simple like how to walk across the room without bouncing all around in three directions, and someone ends up doing something totally inconceivable like practically squat-duck walking across the floor. Not her fault; she is sincerely trying to do what I said, she just has no concept of what it is she needs to do to get her arms and legs and whatnot to move the way her brain thinks she should move. A good lesson for all, methinks.
Actually like teaching raw beginners every now and then; they take absolutely everything I say without questioning, and interpret all directions literally. Sometimes (actually in budo, most of the time) people really do need to just not question and do as I say. And then we they literally do exactly that, it's much easier for me to judge what they need to work on and make corrections. Also it is an excellent way for me to understand what they are actually hearing and seeing. I demonstrate and explain something simple like how to walk across the room without bouncing all around in three directions, and someone ends up doing something totally inconceivable like practically squat-duck walking across the floor. Not her fault; she is sincerely trying to do what I said, she just has no concept of what it is she needs to do to get her arms and legs and whatnot to move the way her brain thinks she should move. A good lesson for all, methinks.
snack time
snack time
Originally uploaded by renfield
Took a little break from terrorizing pigeons to have a snack and warm up. New cherry blossom steamed bread is a winner.
pigeon!
pigeon!
Originally uploaded by renfield
Apparently Ton is simultaneously terrified of pigeons and yet determined to play with them. She follows them around until they either fly away or turn sharply in her direction. In the former case, she shouts "Go away pigeon!" and giggles, in the latter case she shrieks in fear and jumps onto me.
The mind of a 3 year-old is truly an enigma.
after the boxing match
after the boxing match
Originally uploaded by renfield
Just to be clear: my 8-month old son was NOT boxing. He had the sniffles, and it is quite dry, and he got a wee nose bleed. Which he didn't seem to mind much, and rather enjoyed smearing blood/snot all over his face.
hair and make round 2
hair and make round 2
Originally uploaded by renfield
Ton's modelling debut (and most likely her final performance): friend at work knows a guy at Dentsu who wanted half-kids for a photo shoot. So I volunteered Ton, figuring how bad can it be?
Took the train to Yoga, entered the prep room and Ton was her typical shy self. They had toys and a Purikyua magazine and snacks, so finally she warmed up a bit and got changed into an orange, elfin kinda dress. They put fresh flowers in her hair and around her neck, and we went into the studio and danced and marched and jumped around for 15 minutes.
She actually got really into it and we had a good time running amok as they took photos. Finally ended so we went back into the ready room for a different dress and new hair and makeup. Then back into the studio for more shots. She was really into it now and was getting the hang of hitting her mark and doing all the poses they wanted.
There were also a few SERIOUS moms in the place whose kids were probably professionals. No thanks!
minor epiphany
Had a reasonably interesting "Aha!" moment today. Went to fighting and given that there were only three of us, the class turned into an hour-long session on heavy bag and punching mitt work. Doing 1-2 (jab-cross)-hook combos and 1-2-fade-right followed by right-left uppers, I get a nice relaxed arm feeling and was really just punching with my legs and shoulder blades. Felt very much like decent sword work, the rare times I feel it. And the result was I was thumping really hard for a solid 3 minute round. Much less tiring than powering through the punches, of course, but even so I really felt like I was using my shoulder blades and my arms were just kinda hanging there. Punches were pretty fast, too, though I think I can get faster if I can figure out how to time the weight transfer better. It's easier with a sword, but I'm not used to the distance and timing when just pushing my fists around, so I gotta work on some more.
batten MEAT
batten MEAT
Originally uploaded by renfield
Double-0 from Sweden in town so I met up with him an Presley at Honbu. Crowded today -- other local class cancelled so everyone came to the dojo. Did iai for about half an hour; managed to run through all twenty kata a couple of times.
iai stuff
Went to the monthly instructors meeting for the first time in forever. Lotsa process and administrative stuff that I am glad I don't have to deal with anymore. Afterwards managed to corner Gosoke for a few minutes and confirm some details, so Salty and I headed to the nearest coffee shop to write everything down and talk smack into the wee hours (well ok only 10:30).
Will try to get to the dojo tomorrow to do some kumitachi with Presley, and then try and make at least one of Gosoke's classes next week. Needs me some discipline if I am to be testing at the end of this year!
Will try to get to the dojo tomorrow to do some kumitachi with Presley, and then try and make at least one of Gosoke's classes next week. Needs me some discipline if I am to be testing at the end of this year!
boyfriend weekend
On Sunday Ton saw Daiki at the park and followed him to La Boheme for lunch, so we had pizza and pasta, then went back to the park where she followed around some little Russian kid, until Roy showed up. Then she followed HIM around until he went home.
That night we met up with Tai-kun and his family (who have just moved into the neighborhood), so Ton had various boyfriends throughout the day!
That night we met up with Tai-kun and his family (who have just moved into the neighborhood), so Ton had various boyfriends throughout the day!
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