broken links

The astute reader will notice various broken links. Some of these are beyond my control. For whatever reason, Lee's evildrinkingpartners.com and Nate's mamachari.com don't seem to be working. Some of these are control within my control. Ren's Big Adventure is yet to be migrated over from the old twics file system to renfield.net.
These things will be fixed, in time. Or not.
Tomorrow Hiroko and I leave for California. We'll spend some time in SF with Jorge, Corr, and my God-daughter Emi, then all of us will rent a van and chug down to LA. I will immediately pop over to Big Tony's to do sword stuff in San Diego.
Then Hiroko goes home and I go on to Guelph, Ontario (Canada) to do even more sword stuff.
We will take many pictures, and have many adventures. And if you're lucky, you might even find out about 'em.

quality by bystedt

Bystedt's family business, founded by the grandparentals, now run by his uncle, makes leather gloves. Get your own stuff!

I have a dream...

So we're flying in low orbit around a very Earth-like planet. We enter the atmosphere and are cruising above the barren terrain, getting closer and closer. As we fly over an impressive butte, the landscape changes to a typical suburb, then a small city. Just as we we're making a landing approach, we notice a helicopter parked on the crest of a cliff. Could be trouble. We land in a field on the outskirts of town and set off to explore. Very Earth-like. Humanoids abound. English is spoken. Suddenly we realize the uniformed are coming, and we scramble into the underground garage. We find a car that looks very much like a Mini and pile in. I'm driving. As we approach the exit toll booth, I realize I'm not sure what the strange square markings mean. From the lines on the ground it looks like I should be in the left lane, so I ease over, find the parking ticket behind the sun visor, and out we go.
We're now walking briskly through the back streets, working our way back to our ship, and I realize my baseball cap is sticking out like an alien visitor (which I am.) We stop at one of the many street vendor tent/booths and buy cheap winter coats. My companions go for yellow, but I opt for a mid-thigh length red number with matching backpack. I dump my spaceship uniform jacket, backpack, and baseball cap, being sure to empty the many pockets and transfer all the useful items to my new jacket; multihead screwdriver, white LED flashlight, etc. I pay with the local currency equivalent of 2000 yen (cheap!) and hurry around the corner to catch up with my fellow aliens. We finally make it to the field, board our ship, and accelerate to atmospheric escape velocity as the armed and helicopters circle the field below. Close call. As we enter and then leave orbit, sling-shotting away from the planet, warning lights on the ship's control panel begin beeping, beeping, beeping...I wake up and turn off my beeping alarm clock.

"you all suck. remember that."

Didn't get any time to practice, as I lead basics and when Tanaka-sensei showed up I spent the whole practice teaching two newbies.
At 8:30 regular class ended and thankfully Niina-gosoke began his Hour of Power. We did the first form shin for over half an hour, with Gosoke correcting our angle, timing, and hip movement. Then we tried inchuyo, trying to get the parry-and-cut action right, which prompted the quote of the title. Gosoke used The Dowel (a thin dowel of wood the length of a sword -- lighter than a wooden sword so easy to carry all the time) to demonstrate that if we all tried to parry a real sword cutting down at our head, we'd all be dead, mostly from our own blade getting deflected into our own head. Then he used The Dowel again to show how, even if we managed to parry the attack, our counter-attack wasn't actually hitting the attacker's left abdomen, leaving us open to further pummeling.

After practice I collected Hoshina-san's sword and sai, went to the office to get the Pelican sword case, and dragged all that gear home on the subway, in preparation for the seminars in California and Canada next week.

kenkakubanrai

NPO Hougyoku-kai's 6th Annual Festival and Competition, Kenkakubanrai. I was on the planning committee so I've spent the past couple of weeks working with everyone to pull this off. It was tons of fun, but as I was in the highest division, I got the thrashing I deserved. I won my first match and lost the second to Akama-san, who advanced up from the division below mine. He ended up sweeping both divisions and winning the top award. It was an excellent reminder for me that I still have much to learn and even more to practice. I had plenty of excuses; I've been spending more teaching, I was on the planning committee, I've been getting ready for the US and Canada seminars...but the truth is I just haven't practiced enough and I wasn't good enough to win.
I did, however, get Niina-gosoke's consolation prize:


After the festivities we all went to a place by the station to eat and drink and have fun, and I heard many great stories from Shiokawa-gosoke about when he was young, and Okazaki-sensei's tales of karate. When it was time to go home, I was feeling lame but glad I'd got some perspective, and ready to start fresh tomorrow. I guess I was too busy thinking about redoubling my efforts at practice, because I turned right against a Left Turn Only sign, just in front of a police box. As I was waiting for the light to change, a cop ran out, invited me over, and gave me a 5000 yen ticket.
A fitting end to a fine day, I reckon.

Calverts to London

After two years and many adventures in Japan, Jeff and (pregnant) Ericka are off to London.
We had the traditional Last Supper in Fonda de la Madrugada in Harajuku, the best Mexican (as in Mexico, not as in LA) food this side of New York. A good time was had by all, but at least now we have someplace to stay when we go to London!

meat and a haircut, 10 yen

More like 13,850 yen, but never mind the details.
The Mightier Steed galloped me to Omotesando for a visit to Nozawa at UR, where the clippers worked magic and the massage was painfully pleasant.

Then I hopped across the street to Barbacoa for Robin's going-away party. After 14 ("and a half!") years at Morgan Stanley, the grass was greener in the Swiss Alps.
The salad bar was lovely as always, and the meat...oh, the glorious meat!


Robin started The Game, whose rules are unclear but it generally involves the loser drinking, the winner drinking, anyone's who's watching drinking, everyone sitting at the nearest table drinking...Basically a fair bit of drinking. The waiter told us the next table over was complaining about the noise we were making. Ha! We hadn't even started the speeches yet!

Robin got a stylish fishing vest, pockets bulging with Marlboro Lights, and a Morgan Stanley globe paperweight which MUST be prominently displayed in his new office at UBS. By the time our two hours of all-you-can-eat-and-drink were up, many beer bottles were empty, Robin was a teary-eyed mess, and the crowd proceeded to further debauchery as is always the case with these things.

craaaack!

So some guy came back practice last week to check it out. He came early, about 6:15, and I explained to him that we start basics at about 6:30 and then when Hoshina-san shows up we start practice at 7:00. He watched until about 6:50 and then said he had to go, but was interested in starting next week. I was surprised, as he hadn't really seen much, and asked if he could fill out the membership application. He said he didn't have time but he'd be back next week. I didn't expect him to come back, but there he was. So he filled out the application, paid his registration and first month's dues, and starting doing basics with us. He'd been doing Zenkenren so he had the equipment and some basics, though his cuts lacked the 'cutting-ness' of Mugairyu.
By 7pm Tanaka-sensei and Niina-gosoke had showed up, and we started doing kata. Hoshina-san starts to teach this guy one-on-one, but he says he wants to practice the Zenkenren kata because there's a tournament coming up. Hoshina-san explains that, while we do sometimes do the Zenkenren kata, this is Mugairyu Iaihyodo. He insists. She speaks to Niina-gosoke, who, justifiably, explodes: "He wants to do Zenkenren? I don't care either way. But this is Mugairyu. We practice Mugairyu here. We don't go to Zenkenren practices and tell them we want to practice Mugairyu kata! You ask me, Zenkenren isn't koryu budo, it's nice movements, but we do koryu budo here. We cut with intent, this is Mugairyu!"
Suffice to say he packed up his stuff, we refunded his money, and he was out the door. Kind of surreal.

After that we ran everyone through a couple of pretend tournaments, with judges seated at the front, timing the whole thing to give people an idea of what the tournament on Sunday will be like. Lots of nervousness and people forgetting the basics like how to bow and hold the sword!
From 8:30 Niina-gosoke started the Hour of Pain and pummeled us once again. About 8:45, as I was performing a particularly talent-less draw, there was a stupendous "craaaack!" as I split my saya (scabbard.) It was an old saya, the original that came with the sword, and I had patched it up several times. I knew it'd crack one day, so I wrapped the top with duct tape, and glad I did, because that prevented it from splitting in two entirely. Gosoke immediately laughed and then asked "Did you cut your hand?" "No sir, just my pride." and he laughed again. I've got a couple more saya so no big deal, everyone cracks them eventually, but it really does illustrate how lame I am and how hard it is to do clean draws every time.

respect

After practice Misawa-kun took a photo of me with his phone


Yes, I really do command respect from the younger students.

mom down! mom down!

Had a bit of a scare: She Who Simultaneously Smokes, Drinks Ice Coffee, Talks On The Phone, Does The Crossword Puzzle, Watches Television, and Plays Electronic Bridge Whilst Making Quilt Patterns had some chest pains, drove herself to the hospital, and spent a couple of days under the watchful eye of the medical profession. Hereditary heart problems (I got 'em too!) and a bourgeoisie New England lifestyle do not a good couple make. Supposedly she quit smoking (that or they just don't letcha smoke in the hospital, they can be strict that way.)
Now she's down in Alabama. In the hospital with heart problems. In Alabama. Dunno which is worse...just kidding Gene!
I've never been south of the Mason-Dixon line. I drove cross-country once with Patch in his foreign car, he wearing an "I want my RU-486" t-shirt and me with my blue braided dreads. A couple of times in the Midwest I thought for sure we'd be lynch-mobbed. One gas-station attendant wearing grease-covered overalls ala Dukes Of Hazzard took one look at our car and mumbled "Damn fine waste of metal and rubber..." to which Patch mumbled, looking at such fine proof that man did in fact evolve from chimps, "Damn fine waste of skin and bone..."

bbq @ tony's

Went over to Tony's for a BBQ. Met Hiroko in Shibuya and single-handedly revived the Japanese economy by being good consumers and inhaling various products from Muji, Loft, etc.
We grabbed some salad fixin's and got the #55 bus to Tony's.
As is tradition, Tony kept his guests (and himself) plied with wine while Hiroko and I took over his kitchen. Tony has 9 cutting boards, but his knives are as dull as spoons. Tony has a brand new oven that had never been used because when I opened it I found the shrink-wrapped instruction booklet and a note from the repairman who installed it, dated July 2002. Tony has 2 bottles and one bag of salt, but hardly any sugar. Tony has stupendously good French coffee, but only one coffee filter.
As she tends to do, Hiroko worked her magic. Scrounging olive oil, balsamico vinegar, and sugar, she turned bacon, pine nuts, and Nancy's garlic chips into a stupendous dressing for a spinach and bell pepper salad that had the crowd in fits. With the BBQ belching out smoke as well as steaks and chicken, I took Tony's pasta, grated some gouda cheese and turned it into a feeble attempt at baked ziti, and the feast was on.
We rounded out the evening by watching Charlie's Angels on TV. Besides Kevin failing in his attempt to leap the couch in a single bound (Tony was quick with the salt and the red wine on the carpet did no damage), it was a lovely evening.

visions of grander than I really am

Dream #1: I was castigating The Israeli and Palestinian leaders, at length, for their failure to reach a viable peace agreement.
Dream #2: spiders that looked like mushrooms crawling up the back of my legs. I woke up with a start to find Hiroko getting out of bed, brushing back the mosquito net that rubbing teasingly along my calves.

reality of lameness

Only two weeks to go before the Tokyo tournament, and I am in trouble. Last year I was in the unranked division, and by some strange twist of fate, luck, and promotion, this year I am in the 4dan/5dan division, the most advanced division. In general, I am pretty hosed, as everyone else in the division, including all my instructors, outrank and outclass me.
Tanaka-sensei ran us through all 20 forms and then left us to our own devices. It was humid and we were all sweating away nicely. Orita-san kept up a regular stream of complaints every time she could catch me, but I didn't give her much of a chance as I ran through my five forms over and over again, every time comparing my own movements to the movements inside my head and realizing just how much more I have to learn. Tanaka-sensei was helping Kanai-san with the last form, shiho. It's nasty: surrounded by enemies you attack in four directions. The cuts are tough, connecting them without leaving yourself open is even harder, and cutting convincingly, with plenty of hip and reach, is nigh impossible. I can't do that form more than a few times before my right arm feels like it will fall off. I focused more on the two seated forms, inchuyo and yochuin, as well as musogaeshi; I keep losing my balance over-extending on the turn to cut behind after the initial forward strike.
We kept practicing well past 9:00, and finally I had to stop because I was completely dehydrated and my right arm would move any more. No sense in killing myself, I've still got two weeks.

woo woo!

From Joel:

This is hysterical.

Step 1) Watch this
(pay particularly close attention to the demonstration)

Step 2) Then mix it up

tokyo the most expensive city in the world

Just in case there were any doubts, Tokyo is indeed the most expensive city in the world.

Hundreds of Americans, largely in finance and banking, are moving back to the United States this summer from Tokyo, often ordered home by stateside managers who don't think Japan's stagnant economy is worth the high cost of maintaining workers there.
For those expatriates still in Tokyo, neither deflation nor that softening housing market has helped much so far. Prices there are still 26 percent higher than in New York.

from dave barry by way of Hammer

I guess sometimes you don't really think about your domain name...until it's too late:
http://www.powergenitalia.com/
http://www.whorepresents.com/

The first one I can forgive as English isn't most Italians' first language.
But the second one? No one in that whole organization said "Hmm, why do so many pimps and johns keep emailing us?"

momoyo and kensuke

Went to Shimura-sanchome on the Mita line, ostensibly to see Satchan's newborn son Kensuke, but really I was just there to play with Momoyo, who's now 6 years old, in first grade, and missing her two front teeth (making ramen slurping really easy.)

Hiroko and I met everyone at the station and immediately went to Toys 'R Us to get stuff for Kensuke, then hit the Royal Host for lunch. Momo, having the appetite of an old man instead of a six year-old, opted for ramen.


After lunch we went over to see Kensuke and parents, and as all the females reminisced and gossiped (they're all from the same town that Hiroko grew up in) Momo and I draw in her coloring book and poked Kensuke until he gurgled and made other entertaining noises.

judge not lest ye be judg'd

Had a judge's training seminar this evening for the upcoming 6th Annual Kenkakubanrai. I will most definitely screw up the flag-lifting and point counting and victor announcing, most definitely.
After run through a couple of practices including how to receive and return the flags, how to roll them up, how to raise them, count them, and other fine points of judging, we cruised to one of the cheap eats places near Shinbashi Station. The sashimi was thawed, everything was fried in the same oil, the plates, chairs, and tables were small, the prices ridiculously low, and in general a good time was had by all. Kanai-bashocho and Tanaka-sensei are gearing up for their wedding, which I will unfortunately miss because it's the day I leave for San Francisco.
After a couple of beers and a carafe of wine, Sanno-sensei told me, after hearing that I was only 30 years old, that I severely lack in shinayakasa; suppleness, flexibility; elasticity. He says I'm too young to be stomping and thumping around like an old man, and I should work on being more like the green bamboo that bends at impossible angles but never breaks and always snaps back into place. He has a point. I've spent a bit too much time trying to be strong and fast, specifically trying to give tatami rolls what for, and if I get into the habit of being rigid and cold, I'll never shake it. So my homework from now on is more bend, less thump.