), born December 11, 2006.

We had the company X-Mas party at the Hotel New Otani once again. A strong showing of quality food and general X-Mas Party-ness. My esteemed colleagues even won a backpack and limited edition teddy bear in the raffle. A good time was had by all.
Jenn was in Japan this week doing work-related stuff. She came over for dinner and we did tonyu-nabe. Then I played with my new camera's multitude of settings in a valiant but often futile attempt to take reasonably well lit, in-focus photos. As you can tell, I largely failed.
The following is a letter sent from my Grandpa to my Grandma when he was serving in the Army during WWII. My father photocopied the 12 handwritten pages and sent me a copy.
It is poignant, brilliant, and timeless.
Ode To a Foxhole
Lying in a foxhole; "sweating out" the shells bursting overhead, the thought came to me "does the average civilian fully understand what is meant when a G.I. refers to a "foxhole?" Recollecting the days before I donned an O.D. uniform, I always had the impression that "a hole in the ground," was the definition of same. I am well aware of the fact that I was entirely wrong in this assumption.
The first process in digging "this home on the front", is locating a well camouflaged spot, in the woods or under some trees. Then begins the manual labor of clearing a body length by three feet wide area of the underground soil. Usually, when one is in a hurry to complete the task, the soil beneath the sod, contains the "hated-more-than-anything," rocks. Chopping your way, below the surface is no easy job by any means. After a while, the blisters on your hands interfere with your construction progress. It must be done regardless, for 'tis better to suffer a case of "blisteritis," than a dose of that "Jerrie Schrapnel." Naturally, the more you did, the more you cuss. All throughout your "shovel and pick job," you think of the days when your "ass," rested on a "Beauty Rest Mattress," sheets, comforters, down pillows and a perhaps a hot water bag attached for those cold feet. How lucky are those "draft dodgers" in not having the taste of actual warfare. Also, the "behind-the-desk-soldiers" that are still hurting (G.I., for mad) because the Army called them. Oh! For the life of those "over 38" guys. Yes! They are far too old, but what about the G.I., born in 1909 or thereabouts? A quick remembrance of those lads, holding the defense positions in the States. Reference is not made to the mechanics in the various industries but to the "picker-upper-of-dropped-tools" blokes; classified as essential and indispensable. Fortunate are those after "
Stop your "bitching," (G.I., for complaining), Joe and get that foxhole finished before the shower of bombs commences.
Getting back to the project; after about two or more hours of excavating, the foxhole is finally dug...(three or four feet deep, body length, two or three feet wide) but not as yet complete. Now comes the task of covering the quarters of the hole with logs and putting the soil on top; thereby constructing a roof. As the logs that one is in need of do not come "made-to-order" or left lying around, waiting to be picked up; another process has to be done.
Chopping small trees and cutting up the desired logs. So, the wood chopper goes to work. With the well calloused hands, he finds this second step in building, getting worse on the general anatomy. Slowly, he accumulates the wood for the roof of his "
Well he's finally done, you think. No, not by a long shot. The last job is to camouflage his "shack.'That is placing some of the surrounding weeds, bush, or grass over the dirt on top of the logs. Phew! Tough going!
The idea of this is so that the enemy can not observe your place of shelter. At last the entire home is complete.
If one still has any reserve energy, he lines the inside of the foxhole with paper or cardboard; if available. At slumber time the two Army blankets and shelter half serve as the bedding. Hay or straw is usually put on the bottom of the hole to ease the discomfort of the hard terrain.
The dwelling place described in the foregoing paragraph is where the front line soldiers spends most of his hours. Shrapnel from those H.E. (high explosive) artillery and mortar shells , flak from the Ack Ack guns, small arms fire (rifles, machine guns, carbines, sub-machine guns, automatic small weapons) rockets, bomb clusters from attacking planes, grenades of all types, mines, tank fire power, armored infantry cannon and long range artillery pieces fly around in the combat area, day and night. A well made foxhole is the best protection and also tends to relieve the pressure, tensity, fright of the average fighting man.
At present, there is a letup in the "rockets spread glare and bombs bursting in air." So the writer will try and recovery his sense of humor that seems to have "gone with the wind." With the pulse and heart beat normal again, the lighter side of the battle should be mentioned.
The past four pages must have made horrible reading, I presume. If the reader should care to continue I'm sure she (or he, as the case may be) will find more enjoyable reading.
(LET ME STATE THAT ALL RIGHTS TO THIS ARTICLE ARE NOTE RESERVED AND THE AUTHOR DOES NOT GIVE A DAMN IF THIS STORY OR ANY PART THEREOF IS COPIED, STOLEN TORN UP OR THROWN AWAY. SAME ALSO CANNOT BE DEPICTED TO MY WIFE OR ANY OTHER PERSON, FOR REASON THERETO; ITS ENOUGH; I ALREADY PUT MY BYLINE ON IT; SO WHY BLAME ANOTHER PERSON FOR THIS MUMBLE-JUMBLE WORDED THESIS?)
Nightly, the foxhole serves as a quiet resting spot for the soldiers. During the day the ears become accustomed to the "boom-boom" above, and the nocturnal activity is not so hard to take. Alone in his "home-away-from-home", the solder reminisces of his past civvy days, the battle missions he has undergone, review of his Army life, loved ones and practically everything else he has experienced.
Beneath the starry sky above, the thoughts of "peace-on-earth; good-will-towards-man," also prevail. Who knows, perhaps tomorrow, tranquility will reign again?
Throughout the heaviest fighting G.I. Joe has been know to tell some good yarns, joke about and act calm as if nothing is going on above him. The "guy in the foxhole", at night, awaiting "the sandman," recalls the "good ones," he overheard during the day.
The one about the paratrooper that was captured by the Germans. This G.I., in this German Prison of War Camp, he knew how to speak the Heinic language very well. Day after day he plotted an escape. Within a few days, he got hold of a German Colonel's uniform. He dressed up in this "Jerrie", getup and proceeded to walk one of the prison camps. As he passed the guard at the gate, the sentry snapped to attention, saluted him and waited until he passed. After walking a few feet beyond the exit, the escaping paratrooper, turned around and came back. The other G.I. prisoners of war, knowing of the paratroopers planned escape, thought he was spotted and caught; while they watched the proceedings. Upon his return to the guard at the exit, all the could see was his hands moving up and down, in conversing with the German guard. After some words, the paratrooper departed again. Later, the G.I.s in the prison camp found out that when the escaped paratrooper passed the guard at the exit, the sentry did not snap to attention and salute him in the proper manner, so he came back to bawl out the guard and instruct him on his military courtesy towards an officer in the German Army.
Another one about the German soldier that was captured. Said the M.P. that was escorting him to the Prisoner of War Stockade, "Your a lucky Nazi, you'll be going to the States, while I have to stay here in
Not to forget the latest stanza of the famed song of Word War #1 "Madamoiselle from the Armatiers"
I've met the daughter of the mademoiselle
parlez-vous?
I've met the daughter of the mademoiselle
parlez-vous?
I've met the daughter of the mademoiselle
SHE TOO, CAN *__________ LIKE HELL!
Janky-Dinky, Parlez-vous?
* The omitted word; should you care to know is XXXXXXXXX Oh well! You wouldn?t believe me anyway!
Let me recollect a while of those past civilian days. That Saturday night date with the female companion was indeed of the utmost importance. Usually the first complaint to the errand boy or girl (kid brother or youngest sister) was that the suit being pressed would not arrive in time from the tailors. Priorities on the bathroom came next for the preliminaries of showering, shaving, shampooing and generally freshening up the entire organism. Following that the dressing ordeal took lots of time. Standing before the bedroom mirror for two or more hours was not an uncommon sight. How well those times come back to me now, of when it took about fifteen tries to get that necktie to meet with the satisfaction. Naturally the coiffeur also took time. Parting the hair and setting same via the finger method took plenty of patience too. Need I mention the affair of the putting on that sharp slouch hat? Laugh; yea not every minute detail is important. Checking his pockets for cigarettes, handkerchief, comb; and not to forget the glancing over of the greenbacks the wallet contained therein; et cetera, everything was was just right at last. The "Household Cassanova," was ready his evening's rendez-vous. The entire getup and personality stood out like a neon sign. Proceeding to the prearranged corner, this "not-a-worry-in-the-world," guy to wait the "belle of his heart."
All this has changed no, G.I. Joe. Tomorrow when you awake in your foxhole, you will also have a date; a date with a "Nazi." Complaining will not be of help; for there is no one to complain to. The fatigue clothes you slept in will be your getup for tomorrow's rendez-vous. If time permits, a steel helmet , full of cold water will serve as your outdoor washing facilities. Mirror, ties, hair-slicking are passé. After that hurried K Ration breakfast you'd better check your pockets to see if you have enough rifle ammunition, hand grenades, and full canteen of water. No more brilliance like that Neon sign, plenty-worries-in-the-world, the belle of the heart very distant, proceeding to that at the "break of dawn attack."
Again, gloom creeps over this script. Get away from the misery and misfortunes of war; the cerebrum tell me. Yes! I must so I'll pass over the "close-to-death-incidents," in my past battles. Many a time, I could feel the "devil sticking me in the behind with that red hot pitchfork." Why review it? It's over with, so why bring it up again, telling others? They have their own troubles to worry about.
Then to the thoughts of Army life. Seems as if I've been in the service for centuries. Aw! Don't want to think "shop," now anyway; got more important subjects.
The loved ones I left behind are lonesome too. The girl I use to meet on Saturday nights, has been married to me a few years now. Our son must be quite a little man by now. Nothing must break up our happy family. I miss them so very much; they miss me.
(Say, G.I., Joe, there are plenty of other guys in the same boat too
We all got to make the best of it)
With a prayer on the lips; "Dear, God," end this unwanted way of living; put a stop to all this destruction and killing, send the boys home again; G.I., Joe in his "
falls asleep.
[Wat a man!]
I am now one of them: the crackberry addicted. I really didn't want this evil machine. I still don't, but I must admit it is useful...for ensuring I get no sleep and spend no waking seconds doing anything other than checking work email.
Then again for once I am glad that my IT policy blocks gmail, all IM apps, and anything even remotely fun, so I actually don't spend all my time on the crack because all I can get is work email and Bloomberg messages.
Mitsukoshi had a Niigata Prefecture Festival, so of course there was lots of local food. Our target was "itarian", which is thick udon noodles cooked like yakisoba and then covered in spaghetti meat sauce. I don't have the faintest clue were this nightmare of Western and Japanese food came from, but it was damn tasty!
AKA The Kicking Beastly. P has now experienced pregnancy quite enough, thank you. She prefers to move on to the motherhood part. ASAP.
Tonchan seems content to get bigger and more ornery, kicking and wiggling like a coyote on a leash. She's now just over 2500 grams -- right on schedule. Doesn't look like she'll be coming out particularly early, but you never know.
Brilliant weather (where is the winter?) so P and I took a wee walkabout the neighborhood. Walked up Sakuradadori to Azabujyuban, then walked up to Roppongi Hills, which was surprising empty for a Sunday. I guess it's not cool anymore? They had a display of BMW stuff -- motorcycles and cars, and a couple of fake F1 racecars with a big plasma screen in front of it with which you could try your hand at racing. I went for the yachting simulator: spin the big wheel to catch the wind, and sail around the buoy. Fun for about 5 minutes.
We went inside and checked out the not-so-cool wares on sale, then got hungry and had some all-you-can-eat dim sum. Now that was a quality feedin'! Never get between a pregnant woman and her shoronpo!
P is trying some oriental voodoo magic accupuncture. She's got three needles in her back, and two in each ankle. Supposed to relax her, especially the abdomen, giving Tonchan room and freedom to flip out of breech and into position. Hey, whatever works, eh.
Tonchan is doing well -- near 2 kilos, and has long legs (where'd those genes come from?) She's still breeched; face buried into the placenta like a nice pillow. If she doesn't flip head down in the next few weeks we'll have to figure out what to do -- might have to do a cesarian which P is understandably not looking forward to.
Taking full advantage of the last of this 3-day weekend, P and I rearranged the funiture in the bedroom to make it more Ton-chan friendly, including the addition of the Ton-chan Sleep Recepticle.
Daboo and N3i came back from Kansai and we had monja and okonomiyaki for dinner. They fly home tomorrow and definitely need to come back to Japan soon to hang out with Ton-chan!
We rented a boat for a couple of hours to cruise around the bay. The weather was perfect, the water calm, the food warm and the beverages cool.
P is The Best Wife, and soon to be The Best Mom. A few months ago we did the traditional thing and went to the shrine to make sure she got all the proper Shinto Good Birth Magic, and she got a length of gauze cloth to wrap her abdomen in order to the keep the baby cookin' properly. With this bolt, she buckled down in proper home-bound pregnant wife fashion and sewed this awesome babywear.
I asked if she could make one for me, too but she said she doesn't have enough cloth.
We did Akiba in the morning, checking out all the geeky back streets and crazy t-shirt shops, then met Conan's dad and headed to the massive Yodobashi Camera. N3i got a cool digital camera and then we all regrouped at home to check out Conan's new pad, watch some Samurai Jack, and get some excellent dinner.
LoveTrain drew this sweet picture of me. This is what I'm like at work, gettin' my bid'ness on.
Three-day weekend + late summer = Neighborhood festival! Various omikoshi being carried by the adults and kids around town. When I went to get my haircut, only mom and daughter were there, as dad had snuck out to help, and was gone all afternoon. Even though it started raining a bit, everyone was having a grand time.
After the antique fair we went to Bic Camera and I bought me a super hi-tek electric shaver. Then we went to the big Muji, had some lunch, and bought some maternity clothes for the no-longer working P, and a new cover for our old couch. They changed the couch style a couple years ago; the arms are thinner and it's less comfy to sit on. But luckily they still sell the old-style couch cover.
Went with P to check out the Oedo Antique Fair at Tokyo International Forum. Lots of cool, old stuff, but nothing worth buying. They also had various artistically decorated cows, which reminded me of the first time I saw such bovines, back in the day in Stamford, CT.
The alien lives, and is watching you. Tonchan is now about a kilo, and P is feelin' it! Tonchan is also kicking and groovin' about regularly, making is really difficult for P to get a good night's sleep!
Spent the past couple days in Tokei-in, a wee old temple in the tea-leaf foothills of Shizuoka. This is the second time I've joined the Dogen Sangha retreat, lead by World Famous Author (only calling him that because he really ain't keen on it) Brad Warner.
Last year I was mostly concerned with why: why sit uncomfortably on a little cushion staring at the wall? Why all this fancy bowing and ritual and religious mumbo-jumbo making the monks rich off of funerals? Why spend a weekend in the hills, getting assaulted by bugs and eating according to a stylized ritual that guarantees nothing will be eaten warm?
I didn't manage to answer any of these questions, but this year I instead started asking how: How can I sit every morning, even when it's cold, or when I'm tired? How can I keep the mind and leg numbing boredom from making me give it up? How do I keep my back straight? How do I control my breathing without trying to control my breathing?
I am less cynical about all the religious bits and bobs. Not because I don't think it's mainly a bunch of tax-exempt crap, but because there is something to the structure and ritual and costume and social interaction of it all. I certainly couldn't motivate myself to get up at 4:30 and sit for hours every day, so there's something to be said for the whole temple experience.
The other cool thing: I am starting to figure out that it's not about going to a special temple and having a great, mellowing experience, and then leaving it and returning to reality. It's about spending a weekend sitting, and eating, and cleaning the toilets, and tending the yard. I think I most enjoyed: making a mess of the rock garden, and doing the last meal service -- curry rice. Usually meal service is a very specific series of chants, serving food, eating in silence; very regimented and really meant to get you to focus on the meal, on the fact that without this food you die, and to really appreciate that, by serving, thanking, eating, cleaning up (you get some hot water and use your last pickle to rinse out all your bowls.)
But the last lunch, after we'd put away our traditional three-bowl-and-chopsticks set, was your basic Japanese curry: rice on a plate, eaten with a spoon. I was serving, so I had to think about how to serve and keep some semblance of the ceremony, the process, and I really thought that zen is figuring out how to serve and appreciate the basics of life, like lunch.
Brad was in fine form for the lectures as well. He claims to not enjoy doing them, but he's an engaging speaker, and as this was his third time running the show, he's starting to diverge from the standard script, and I think we had some good discussions because of that. Interesting discussion about respecting "noble silence" more, and maybe sitting more, and maybe working more. In all it was engaging, tiring, delicious, and really, really boring.
Mai-chan took me out to lunch because I'm always helping her write English emails. We went to shabu shabu, which for the non-Japanese inclined is the sound of cooking incredibly thin meat in boiling water. Here we have Japan's finest pork and beef, sliced translucent thin, and after cooking to be dipped in either the tart ponzu or the sesame-delightful goma sauce. I ate four plates and two bowls of rice, which put Mai-chan back around 60 bucks US. But I am so worth it.
P and I took the Tsukuba Express from Akiba up to Tsukuba to see Grandma Hisae. She had a stroke a couple months ago and her left side was paralized.
She's now in a physical therapy ward in a nice hospital and can move her left arm ok, though she can't yet walk as her left leg doesn't have enough mobility yet.
But she's crotchety as always and her brain is sharp, so we were relived. She gave P lots of advice, including the old proverb "birth 'em small, raise 'em big."
Afterwards we went with mom to lunch at the strangest restaurant I've been to yet. It was called "Mehiko" (as in Mexico), specialized in crab, and was shaped like an octogon, the center of which was a tropical paradise filled with...flamingo. Real, pink, flamingo. In Mexico. Specializing in crab.
I had the steak-on-rice, which immediately gave me a massive stomach ache. Not a surprise given then 37 liquid ounces of butter used to cook the rice (and the steak, methinks.)
Kairi wanted to go to the Azabu Jyuban Festival so she brought Daisuke and her parents over this afternoon. Daisuke spent most of the time drooling, gurgling, and sleeping. He's puffy like a fresh sausage, but smells generally better. We did the rounds and gathered armloads of food before heading home and feasting. Aki came over later and we sat around and played with Daisuke some more, then Kairi and I goofed off in the basement before they all went home. Good practice for my own daughter, though Kairi's mom and P agreed that after seeing me with Maya, Amy, Kairi, and Daisuke, consensus is that I'm going be a total pushover -- my daughter's gonna get whatever she wants outta me!
P and I went to Isetan in the morning to check out the twice-yearly Kyushu Sale and we loaded up on Quality Pig Products. There's a family farm down there that raises pigs and makes the best miso-marinated pork and sausages (and the grandparents raise chickens for meat and eggs.) Dad and his multiple (cute) daughters were selling, and they remembered us from last time so we got a choice selection of meats and some free eggs!
Maya and Amy came over to play today. It was way too hot, but we went to the Azabu Jyuban festival anyway and loaded up on festival foods before heading home to feast. Amy got a bunch of cool rubber balls so we went into the basement and bounced balls all over the place for a while while Maya slobbered about and giggled.
I have long complained that the only thing Tokyo was missing is a proper Jewish deli. Well, Tokyo is now officially complete. David's Deli is a few minutes walk from my house (another reason to live in the middle of Tokyo), open seven days a week, and damn fine. They make their own bagels and pita, have motzo ball soup, falafel, stuffed cabbage, an assorment of pickles, and kasha varnishkes (which, according to my father, is horse food, but I still love it.)
And the best part is the Korean waitress has serious attitude. Just like Manhattan!